Affected by rape
Helman, Rebecca
As the starting point for this thesis, I take my own experience of rape and how my social
position as a ‘white’, middle class, womxn renders me out of place at a government rape clinic where the vast majority of patients are poor, ‘black’ womxn. The discomfort produced by being ‘out of place’ at the clinic prompted me to explore the ways in which sexual violence in South Africa has become normalised and the rapes of some womxn are considered ‘ordinary’. I situate my work in a context where sexual violence is hypervisible – reported in the media almost every day. However, I argue that, socially and politically, South African society is ‘unaffected’ by rape, which is repeatedly dismissed and denied as a serious social and political concern. By employing an interdisciplinary approach informed by critical feminist, decolonial and Africancentred perspectives, I locate this naffectedness in historical and contemporary matrixes of power. I argue that a state of unaffectedness is produced by intersecting raced, gendered and classed understandings of whose lives ‘matter’. Alongside an autoethnographic approach, through which I seek to critically situate and analyse my own experience of rape, I draw on indepth qualitative interviews with 16 other womxn – both ‘black’ and ‘white’– from across South Africa. I develop an affective analysis of participants’ narratives, focusing on how women’s feelings about their experiences of rape are structured by the broader social context of sexual violence. Working with notions of trauma, shame, rage, and unsettling hopefulness, I examine how the womxn I interviewed and I, both reproduce and contest dominant affective possibilities of rape. By engaging with the ways in which I am affected by doing research on rape, I propose an alternative way of ‘knowing about’ and writing about rape. This alternative way of knowing pays close attention to the intersecting inequalities that constitute both experiences of rape and research on sexual violence in South Africa. I argued that to engage with the way in which rape affects, individually and socially, is deeply ncomfortable, potentially hopeful, and crucial to disrupt the normalisation of sexual violence in South Africa.; Indawo endiqale kuyo kwesi sifundo sophando ngamava am okudlwengulwa, kunye ngendlela
endibonwa ngayo phakathi koluntu ngenxa yokuba ndingumfazi ‘omhlophe’ okwizinga
eliphakathi loluntu. Eli zinga lindikhuphela ngaphandle kwikliniki karhulumente, apho uninzi
lwamaxhoba ingabafazi ‘abantsundu’ abahluphekileyo. Ukungonwabi okwenziwa kukuziva‘ndingangeni ndawo’ ekliniki kundenze ukuba ndiphonononge indlela apho kusuke kwayinto
eqhelekileyo ukuphathwa gadalala ngokwesondo eMzantsi Afrika, kwaye ukudlwengulwa
kwamanye amabhinqa kwabonakala kuyinto ‘eqhelekileyo’. Uphando lwam ndilubeka
kwimeko apho ubundlobongela besondo busematheni – kuthethwa ngabo yonke imihla
kumajelo onxibelelwano. Noxa kunjalo, mna ndithi ngokwasentlalweni nangokwepolitiki,
uluntu loMzantsi Afrika ‘aluvakalelwa’ kukudlwengula, nokusoloko kungahoywa, kwaye
kungathathwa njengento uluntu olunokuzikhathaza ngayo. Ngokusebenzisa indlela yophando
equka amasebe ezifundo ahlukeneyo, nephantsi kwefuthe lezifundo eziqwalasela imiba
yamanina, nezingenabukoloniyali, nezizikithiswe kwizimvo zobuAfrika, ndikubeka oku
kungakhathali kwiimeko zokungalingani kwamagunya mandulo nanamhla oku. Ndibeka uluvo
oluthi ukungachukumiseki kudalwa kukucinga apho kujongwa ubuhlanga, isini nezinga
lentlalo ukuze kuqondwe ukuba bobobani ubomi ‘obunolutho’. Ekusebenziseni indlela
yophando eqala esiqwini somphandi, apho ndiphengulula nzulu awam amava okudlwengulwa,
ndifumene ulwazi ngokuqhuba iindliwano ndlebe namanye amabhinqa ali-16 – ‘amhlophe’
kunye ‘nantsundu’ – aseMzantsi Afrika. Ndiphuhlisa uhlalutyo lwamabali abathathi nxaxheba,
kwaye ndigxila kwiindlela apho iimvakalelo zamanina ngokudlwengulwa kwawo zakhiwe
yimeko ebanzi yezentlalo kubundlobongela besondo. Ngokusebenza ngeengcinga zokuxheleka
komphefumlo, iintloni, umsindo nokuphelelwa lithemba, ndiphonononga indlela athi
amabhinqa endidlene nawo indlebe avelise kwaye aphikise iingcinga ezigqubayo malunga
nodlwengulo. Ngokujongana nezam iingcinga nokuchaphazeleka kwam kukudlwengulwa,
ndiphakamisa enye indlela eyahlukileyo ‘yokwazi malunga’ nokubhala ngokudlwengulwa. Le
ndlela yahlukileyo yokwazi iqwalasela kabukhali ukwahlula uluntu nokungalingani okuhamba
namava okudlwengulwa nokuphanda ngobundlobongela besondo eMzantsi Afrika. Ndibeka
uluvo oluthi ukujongana nendlela udlwengulo oluchaphazela ngayo umntu okanye uluntu,
ngumba odala ukungonwabi kakhulu. Ukwadala ithemba kwaye ubaluleke kakhulu
ekuphazamiseni iingcinga ezenza ukuba ubundlobongela besondo bube yinto eqhelekileyo
eMzantsi Afrika.; Ek neem, as uitgangspunt vir hierdie tesis, my eie ervaring van verkragting en hoe my sosiale
posisionering as 'n 'wit', middelklas, vrou my ontuis maak by ‘n regerings-verkragtingskliniek,
waar die oorgrote meerderheid pasiënte arm, 'swart' vroue is. Die ongemak wat veroorsaak is
deur ‘ontuis' by die kliniek te voel, het gelei tot my ondersoek na die maniere waarop seksuele
geweld in Suid-Afrika genormaliseer word en die verkragtings van sekere vroue as 'gewoon'
beskou word. Ek plaas my werk in 'n konteks waarin seksuele geweld baie sigbaar is – waarvan
feitlik elke dag in die media berig word. Ek argumenteer egter dat die sosiale en politiese Suid-
Afrikaanse samelewing 'onaangeraak' is deur verkragting - met verkragting wat herhaaldelik
afgemaak en ontken word as 'n ernstige sosiale en politieke saak. Die gebruik van 'n
interdissiplinêre benadering, ingelig deur kritiese feministiese, dekoloniale- en Afrikagesentreerde
perspektiewe, plaas hierdie onaangeraaktheid binne die historiese- en
kontemporêre matrikse van gesag. Ek stel voor dat ‘n toestand van ongeraaktheid gevorm word
deur oorkruisde ras-, geslag- en klasbegrippe van watter lewens 'saak maak'. Naas 'n outoetnografiese
benadering, waardeur ek poog om my eie ervaring van verkragting krities te
situeer en te ontleed, maak ek gebruik van in-diepte kwalitatiewe onderhoude met 16 ander
vroue – beide 'swart' en 'wit' – van regoor Suid-Afrika. Ek stel 'n affektiewe analise voor van
my deelnemers se narratiewe, met die fokus op hoe vroue se gevoelens oor hul ervarings van
verkragting gestruktureer word deur die breër sosiale konteks van seksuele geweld. Deur te
werk met begrippe van trauma, vernedering, woede en ontstellende hoopvolheid ondersoek ek
hoe ek, en die vroue met wie ek onderhoude gevoer het, dominante affektiewe moontlikhede
van verkragting beide reproduseer en bestry. Deur betrokke te raak by die maniere waarop ek
geraak word deur navorsing oor verkragting te doen, stel ek 'n alternatiewe manier voor van
'weet van' en skryf oor verkragting. Hierdie alternatiewe manier van weet gee baie aandag aan
die oorkruisde ongelykhede wat beide ervarings van en navorsing oor seksuele geweld in Suid-
Afrika uitmaak. Ek voer aan dat om betrokke te raak by die manier waarop verkragting
individueel en sosiaal affekteer, baie ongemaklik, potensieel hoopvol en noodsaaklik is om die
normalisering van seksuele geweld in Suid-Afrika te ontwrig.
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